A man today walked into the local video rental outlet in suburban Austin, Texas, today and rented a film traditionally known as a “Chick Flick”. The man, William Brennan, 28, had previously only rented action-adventure films, horror pictures, and movies with gratuitous nudity and sorority-girl antics.
“I really like the movies with lots of T&A, the kind that usually have ‘National Lampoon’s’ somewhere in the title,” the embarrassed Brennan said at the checkout counter of the Video Hut. “I don’t know what made me grab for ‘In Her Shoes’ but I figured it was okay because Cameron Diaz is pretty hot, right?”
Seeming to regret his decision more after several female renters laughed and one overly pretty man waved, Brennan became defensive and violent. “F*** you all, it doesn’t mean anything.” He then pointed out that a creepy older looking man in a long overcoat was attempting to rent the latest Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen movie “Young Hot Twins”. “Come on, at least I’m not taking home some really girly movie like ‘Rent’ or something,” Brennan said intimating that he was well within the limits of chick-flick renting for strong heterosexual men.
“He’ll prolly be okay,” reassured assistant manager Sandy O’Connor, 16 ½. “Checking over his other vids and seeing that he rented ‘Animal House’ three times tells me he isn’t going to make a mistake like this all the time.”
When asked about the problems presented by likely Academy Award winning film “Brokeback Mountain”, General Manager Sammy Alito, 18, professed uncertainty. “Who the f*** knows, man. I mean, it’s like a serious film, so maybe there is an excuse to see it if you aren’t a big queen but I don’t know. I guess, you know, I’ll have to preview it for my customers, but I mean, I don’t want to see it or anything it’s just my job.”
Reassuring reporters that he would return the movie promptly because he would definitely only view it once and really hated late fees, Brennan remained defiant about his choice. “Look, someone told me you get to see her melons and I do have a girlfriend.”
“In Her Shoes”, a Columbia-TriStar release from last year, was rated PG-13 for mild language and an insipid plot.
Staff Reporter
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